Answering the Officiants Questions

(Optional Question-Who gives this woman to be the bride of this man? (The father/parents stand up,  respond “I/We do” and then are seated))

(Brides Name) and (Grooms Name), If you are ready to step into the holy circle of matrimony, assuming all its rights, obligations and abundant joys, please so indicate by joining hands.

Do you, (Brides Name) take this man, (Grooms Name) as your husband, to love him and to honor him, to nurture, serve and support him, in times of joy and in times of difficulty? Do you promise to remain by his side regardless of what trouble befalls you, and in the presence of temptation to forsake this love, do you promise to remain steadfast and true? Do you promise with all your heart and soul to honor this vow till death do you part? If so, answer now, “I do.”(Bride answers, “I do”)

Do you, (Grooms Name) take this woman, (Brides Name) as your wife, to love her and to honor her, to nurture, serve and support her, in times of joy and in times of difficulty? Do you promise to remain by her side regardless of what trouble befalls you, and in the presence of temptation to forsake this love, do you promise to remain steadfast and true? Do you promise with all your heart and soul to honor this vow till death do you part? If so answer now, “I do.”(Groom answers, “I do”)

The Ring Ceremony

And so we come (Brides Name) and (Grooms Name), to the presentation of rings by which you symbolize and bind your love.

The circle has long been a symbol of spirit and the power of God. The sky and the earth are round. The wind in its greatest power whirls. The sun and moon, both round, come forth and go down again in a circle. Even the seasons form a great circle in their changing and always come back again to where they were.  Without beginning or end and with no point of weakness, the circle is a reminder of the eternal quality of God and of unending strength. Let the seamless circle of these rings become the symbol of your endless love and unending faithfulness.  Your wedding rings are most special because they say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bonded, to allow the presence of another human being to enhance who you are.  Your rings carry a potent double message: We are individuals and yet we belong; we are not alone.  As you wear them through time, they will reflect not only who you are but also the glorious union that you are now creating.

God, bless these rings and the two who exchange them. Fill them with your Holy

Presence.  Keep them safe in the circle of Your protection and love.

(Brides Name), place the ring on (Grooms Name)’s finger and repeat after me:  “With this ring, I pledge my love and faithfulness to you, today, tomorrow and always.” or (“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”)  or (“As this ring has no end, neither shall my love for you.”)

(Grooms Name), place the ring on (Brides Name)’s finger and repeat after me: “With this ring, I pledge my love and faithfulness to you, today, tomorrow and always.” or (“I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.”)  or (“As this ring has no end, neither shall my love for you.”)

Wear these rings as the enclosing bond of reverence and trust. Fulfill the circle of love that now makes you one.

Wedding Vows and Ring Ceremony Combined

Do you have your rings? (They respond, “Yes”)

The circle has long been a symbol of God. Without beginning or end and with no point of weakness, the circle is a reminder of the eternal quality of God and of unending strength. Let the seamless circle of these rings become the symbol of your endless love. Your wedding rings are most special because they say that even in your uniqueness you have chosen to be bonded, to allow the presence of another human being to enhance who you are.  Your rings carry a potent double message: We are individuals and yet we belong; we are not alone.  As you wear them through time, they will reflect not only who you are but also the glorious union that you are now creating.

God, bless these rings and the two who exchange them. Fill them with your Holy

Presence.  Keep them safe in the circle of Your protection and love.

(Grooms Name), as you place this ring on (Brides Name), I now ask you: Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?  Do you promise God, (Brides Name) and all of us here that from this point forward, your arms may be her shelter and your heart may be her guide? Do you promise to support her and nourish her and to love and respect and honor her for the rest of your days on earth?  If so please answer “I do.”

(Brides Name), as you place this ring on (Grooms Name), I now ask you: Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?  Do you promise God, (Grooms Name) and all of us here that from this point forward, your arms may be his shelter and your heart may be his guide? Do you promise to support him and nourish him and to love and respect and honor him for the rest of your days on earth?  If so please answer “I do.”

Vows (Couple can say their own prepared vows or choose from samples below. Vows may be

a) read  entirely by minister;

b) read  phrase by phrase by minister and repeated by wedding partners;

c) read  entirely by wedding partners.)

For Vows Written by the Couple:

(Brides Name) and (Grooms Name), having thus committed themselves, now wish to declare their love for one another in words that they have written.

Alternate Wedding Vows

Please join hands, look into each other’s eyes, and repeat after me:

From this day forward,

I make a promise:

what ever happens,

you shall not walk alone.

I’ll stand by your side,

and sleep in your arms,

I’ll be the joy in your heart,

and the food for your soul,

May you feel deeply loved

for indeed you are.

Through our brightest days

and our darkest nights,

I take you,

into my heart.

May God bless us,

with a great light,

around our hearts,

and around our home.

I see your beauty,

your innocence and light.

May it shine.

May the world see how beautiful you are

as I see how beautiful you are,

but may there be a special light

that only I can see.

I give you my heart.

May we feel this joy forever.

Thank you God.

Amen

or…

From this day on

I choose you to be my beloved soul mate,

to live with you and laugh with you;

to stand by your side and sleep in your arms;

to be joy to your heart and food to your soul;

to bring out the best in you always;

to be the best I can be, just for you;

to celebrate with you in the good times;

to struggle with you in the bad;

to solace you when you are down‑hearted;

to wipe your tears with my hands;

to care for you with my entire being;

to share with you everything that I have;

as we treat each other with tenderness, compassion and love.

(Vows Option 4-Traditional Vows)

Please join hands, look into each other’s eyes, and repeat after me:

I, (Grooms Name), take thee, (Brides Name), for my lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.

I, (Brides Name), take thee, (Grooms Name), for my lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health as long as we both shall live.

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Many customs have different ways of blessing the hands of the bride and groom.

In Thai ceremonies, for example, the couple kneels as elder, married relatives pour blessed water from a conch shell onto their hands and offer words of blessing. In the ancient Celtic tradition of hand-fasting, the couple’s hands are literally tied together to symbolize spiritual and physical unity as prayers and blessings are recited.

In any tradition, a hand blessing is a ritual that is meant to draw you closer to one another.

It is believed that the hands are a connection to the heart, and a hand blessing symbolically brings two hearts together.

I like to offer couples a non-denominational approach. It can be done at any point in the ceremony yet fits in perfectly right after the exchange of the rings.

The Hand Blessing Ceremony

Officiant:

(Brides Name) and (Grooms Name), Please face each other and take each other’s hands, so that you may see the gift that they are to you.

These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for you, that are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.

These are the hands that will work along side yours as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief temporarily comes your way.

These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes, tears of sorrow and tears of joy.

These are the hands that will tenderly hold your children.

These are the hands that will give you support and encouragement to chase down your dreams.

These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult times.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

These are the hands that will lift your chin and brush your cheek as they raise your face to look into eyes that are filled with overwhelming love for you.

And lastly, these are the hands that even when wrinkled and aged will still be reaching for yours, still giving you the same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.

or…

You and your beloved face each other. First join your right palms, and then your left palms. This forms an infinity symbol with your hands, which symbolizes a love that will go on forever.

I love to begin with the sentiment that Shakespeare said, “Now join your hands, and with your hand’s your hearts.” (And in Las Vegas, you can probably find Shakespeare to utter that line himself during your ceremony!)

Then I ask the couple to look into one another’s eyes. There are a number of written/​spoken blessings that can be used. Here is one that I have modified from a very, very popular hand blessing that seems to be all over the Internet (not attributed to an author, as far as I can tell):

These are the hands of your best friend. They are holding yours on your wedding day as you promise to love each other today, tomorrow and forever.

These are the hands that will work alongside yours as together you build your future.

These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the years, and with the slightest touch will comfort you like no other.

These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief wracks your mind.

These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.

May these hands always reach out with love, tenderness and respect.

May these hands continue to build a loving relationship that lasts a lifetime.

With eyes locked, and hands linked, this ritual is a beautiful symbol of the union of two hearts, two lives, and two souls.

Related posts:

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When a parent or other close relative has passed away, it’s important to find an appropriate way to remember, acknowledge, and honor them without ruining the joyous tone of your wedding ceremony. After all, a wedding is a celebration, and while a missing parent is certainly sad, it shouldn’t overpower the wedding day.  Acknowledging and Honoring a deceased parent can help everyone feel everyone feel joyful for your event and at the same time remember the missing family member.

Ask your Officiant to include the names of your parents or family in a special prayer. Many times family members that have recently passed away may be mentioned in a prayer, but it can also be used for anyone you want mentioned in a special way.

OFFICIANT:  As you know BRIDE’S FATHER left this earth a few months ago and now BRIDE would like to speak and honor her father’s part in her life.
BRIDE:  I want to thank you, my dear father, for being there so much of my life.  You were always there for me and I miss you so very much.  It saddens me so much to know that you are not here to walk me down the aisle. I promise to honor your importance in my life by following the path you led me down. I want you to know that as I am here today, I am thinking of you, and I will always be thinking of you.

Other ways to honor a deceased parent or relative:

Set up a special small table at the wedding reception with a flower arrangement and a card saying “In memory of those loved ones who are not with us today” or more specifically, “In memory of Martina Jensen, mother of the bride.” You could also put a picture of the bride or groom with the deceased person you are honoring.

At the wedding reception, display wedding pictures of family members, or pictures of loved ones with the bride/groom. This is a more subtle way of including the dead in your day.

Wear a piece of jewelry or article of clothing. (For example your mother’s wedding dress, your father’s cuff links, or your grandfather’s signet ring).

Carry the same flowers that your mother had in her bouquet.

At the end of the wedding program, it is appropriate to add a memoriam line. For example, you might write “Today we honor those who could not be with us, especially the bride’s stepmother Alison Janet Brooks.”

If the person who is conducting the ceremony is someone who knew the deceased relative, it might be appropriate for him/her to say something during the ceremony – particularly if they are saying a homily or other sermon-like speech. They might say “Today, we have come together to celebrate the love of these two people and the life they are building together. As many of you know, the groom’s father recently passed away. And in times like these, it can be more important than ever to honor love and family. I know (groom’s father) was so happy to see (groom) find the love he has with (bride). Although it would be easy for his recent death to make this a sad occasion, (Groom’s father) would want to see you all so happy today,celebrating and full of joy. So today, let’s remember how precious life is, and be thankful that (bride and groom) are creating a new family together.”

Readers at Weddings.about.com had some great ideas about how to honor a dead parent. Here are some of their ideas:

Barbara says “My father died about 8 months before my wedding, so he couldn’t walk me up the aisle. I walked up alone, and carried one of his silk handkerchiefs – boy did I need it.

Max suggested the bride dance with her mother for the father-daughter dance, to her late-father’s favorite song.

Joan says “My older brother will stand in for my dad who died 2 years ago.We will play a special song by Heartland “I loved her first” I am getting married Dec. 23, 06 to my best friend.”

Robin suggests leaving empty chairs for favorite deceased relatives at the wedding ceremony.

Melissa had lots of great suggestions: 1)placing photo charms of loved ones in the bride’s bouquet. 2)lighting candles during the wedding ceremony for each of the deceased relatives. 3)a son standing in for his grandfather in walking the bride down the aisle and during the traditional father-daughter dance.

At her wedding, Ria set a table with a photograph of her deceased parents, a button holer, a corsage and two candles. The following day she placed her head table’s floral arrangement on their graves, along with a wedding photo.

Shelby plans to honor her beloved grandfather by displaying his WWII flag at her wedding.

Cyndy plans to incorporate her father’s wedding ring into her bouquet.

Kristin will honor her father, who coached her soccer team, by wearing shinguards under her wedding dress!

Related posts:

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Candle Lighting Ceremony

This ceremony can be done with 4 candles , as its written here, with the officiant having the first lit candle, or can be modified using a Unity Candle set, which has 3 candles.

The unity candle ceremony is not a religious ceremony and is commonly used by all faiths. The ceremony provides an opportunity for the bride and groom to involve and honor their parents during the wedding. Decorative, personalized Unity Candle Sets can be kept as a symbol of your union for years to come!

Officiant:  Within each human being burns the spark of the Divine.  When two people love one another with devotion and freedom, they kindle the awareness of that spark in each other as

Take into your beings the warmth, radiance and light that the divine flame represents.  Let it light your way on the journey of life that you are about to embark on.

In committing to one another today, in the spirit of being born new to one another, you kindle each other’s divine light and promise always to see that light in one another-to nurture and tend that divine flame in your partner as best you can each day-especially at the times it may be hardest to see, and the times your partner may doubt or forget the existence of that light within him-or herself.

(Brides Name), take this candle now and symbolically enter the sacred trust to honor the divine spark in (Grooms Name) by lighting it from this candle representing the Divine Source. (She lights candle)

(Grooms Name), take this candle now and symbolically enter the sacred trust to honor the divine spark in (Brides Name) by lighting it from this candle representing the Divine Source. (He lights candle)

If at this time you wish to affirm your free choice to unite as partners in marriage, please light the unlit candle together now. (They light unlit candle together) As you bring your individual flames together to symbolically form the new and greater flame of your marriage, never forget that the light of your union is made up of your unique, individual expressions of light and is continually sustained and renewed by your connection to the Divine Spark, the eternal light of God.

The candle you lit together symbolizes your marriage, your willingness to surrender to something greater than yourselves. May the light of your marriage, (Brides Name) and (Grooms Name), be a beacon in the night, a safe harbor from the storms of life. May your future be made infinitely brighter by the light and the love that you share.

or

In a unity candle ceremony in which the couple wants to incorporate the honoring of the parents, the groom’s parents and the bride’s parents can each light a separate taper candle, representing the wedding couple as individuals. The bride and groom then take those individual taper candles and use them to light a larger pillar candle together. This symbolizes the coming together of the bride and groom, and the two families as one.

Special Notes:

In a second wedding ceremony the lighting of the unity candle is a great way to involve and unite the children of the two families into one.

Prepare the Unity Candle Ceremony in Advance. Before the ceremony, place the unity candles on a table close to the altar. Be sure to arrange in advance who will light the candles (and who will bring the matches!)

Candle Lighting Tips.  It’s a good idea to light a small tea light candle in advance so you do not have to fumble with matches in the middle of the ceremony.  -Burning the candle wicks in advance will make the candles light easier during the ceremony.

Unity Candle Song Suggestions: Generally, some quite, light music is played during unity candle ceremonies.

Things to think about:

Ending of the Unity Candle Ceremony.  Traditionally, at the conclusion of the unity candle ceremony the bride and groom each present a flower to the couple’s mothers. Also, the bride and groom need to decide whether or not to extinguish the candles at the end of the ceremony. Some feel that putting the candles out displays the couple’s commitment to each other. Others think that leaving the candles lit retains and recognizes your individuality within the marriage.

You can celebrate your anniversaries and your continued commitment to one another by lighting the candles again each year.

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2. Parts of a Wedding Ceremony | The Foundation
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Parental Honoring

(Brides Name) and (Grooms Name) want to acknowledge their parents on this occasion,  (Brides Name) and (Grooms Name)  offer their profound gratitude to their parents for all the love and care they showed in raising them. The unconditional gifts of love and support that you have continually offered have inspired them to become who they are today, and they thank you, from the bottom of their hearts, for guiding them to this celebration of love here today. Without you, this day would not be possible.

or

WEDDING OFFICIANT:  BRIDE and GROOM wish to let BRIDE’S MOTHER and FATHER and GROOM’S MOTHER and FATHER know how much you mean to them and how important you have been to them from the very beginning.  As you have watched and guided them and encouraged them to be the people they are today, so have you been there when they found each other.  And it is fitting that today they are here before you, as they have always been, to ask you to witness their joining.  They ask that you will still be there to guide them, to be there in difficult times and joyous ones, to be there for their children and to give them your guidance too. You see, this marriage is a marriage of family and BRIDE and GROOM acknowledge that their families are now uniting.

Other ways to honor parents:

Give a rose to your mother and groom’s mother as you walk down the aisle. Talk to your florist and have them place the two roses in your bouquet (unfastened) and then pull them out when you reach the front of the church.

Prior to the ceremony, place a personalized handkerchief and a rose at both mothers’ seats. The handkerchief will be a wonderful keepsake and remembrance. Or, you could include a special personal note of thanks with the rose or handkerchief.

Have your mother’s bridal bouquet duplicated. Find some pictures of her wedding and give them to your florist.

Instead of doing a “bouquet toss”, dedicate your bouquet to your mother.  I witnessed one wedding where the bride got up and gave a little speech about someone very special in her life (without mentioning who it was) and at the end she told who it was and dedicated her bouquet to her mother. It was a total surprise to everyone especially her mother. Needless to say there was NOT a dry eye in the house!

At the cake table, include framed pictures of your parent’s wedding and even your grandparents wedding too!

Incorporate a family heirloom into your ceremony. This could include a piece of jewelry, clothing or a family bible. Some brides like to copy the entire wedding gowns their mother or grandmother wore.

Copy the decorations or cake top used by your parents or grandparents at their wedding.

As part of your wedding program, you can include a special poem about family. Here’s an example of a special dedication to a bride and groom’s parents…

“We would like to dedicate this ceremony to our parents. They have taught us our values, and shown us how to laugh, love and appreciate all that life has to offer. Their generosity, support, and love is unending.”

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Below are some options for your consideration but again, as I always say…Make it your own, make it special, and make it memorable.

Foundation (Option 1)

Marriage is a gift from God, a miracle. It is obvious that you already know some of the great blessings marriage has to offer.  It is an opportunity to feel the joy of taking care of someone who takes care of you, to be challenged towards growth yet gently nurtured, to love deeply and receive it in return.  It is about trust, friendship and having a partner to share all life has to offer. It is a commitment to participate in a process of mutual evolution, understanding and forgiveness. It is indeed a sacred union to be treated with reverence.

Marriage is not a place to hide from the world.  It is a safe place to grow and become wiser.  It is a place to evolve into better people; so that you can go out in the world and make a difference by spreading the joy and wisdom that you have found with each other. Together in this marriage, you shall contribute more fully, for you both shall be more full.

(Brides Name), (Grooms Name) is a gift to you from God, but he is not a gift for you alone.  It is God’s will that in your love, this man might find within himself a greater sense of who he is meant to be.  You are asked to see the good in this man, to accept him for who he is and who he shall be.  In this way, God’s purpose shall be accomplished in this relationship.  May this man find the kingdom of heaven through the love you share.

And so it is with you also (Grooms Name), that although (Brides Name) is God’s gift to you, she is not a gift intended for you alone. You are asked by God to so love this woman, that in your love she might find herself as God has created her, so beautiful and strong and brave and true, that the entire world might be blessed by the presence of a woman who shines so. May she relax in your arms as she has never relaxed before.  May she know, from now on, that there is one on whose love she can depend on forever.

May you both create, with God, a piece of heaven on earth.

Foundation (Option 2)

Marriage is the beginning of a new life, a chance at fulfilling long‑held dreams, and an opportunity for great personal and spiritual growth. Marriage endures through the ages of trends and fads. Marriage thrives, and continues to live as a promise of a beautiful dream come true. As long as individuals are drawn together by God, marriage will be a natural unfolding of that relationship.

Feelings come alive at a wedding. Great happiness. Some sadness. Apprehension. And sometimes pure relief!. There is an acute awareness that something special, something that goes to the very heart of life, is about to happen. Something is gone forever, and something is born, brand‑new and tender. Something to be nurtured and cared for, protected and cherished, challenged and strengthened‑‑your never‑before‑created marriage.

Each of you brings gifts to the other today. Gifts of hope and laughter, focus and seriousness of purpose. Sensitivity and recognition of the beautiful and the profound. Since childhood, you have searched for and dreamed about that special someone who would embody and express the gifts you now stand ready to give and to receive. But these gifts are not to be yours alone. A strong and resilient marriage is not an escape from the world but a contribution to it. (Brides Name) and (Grooms Name), may you now combine and strengthen your gifts, to be offered as a distinct and beautiful gift to the world. For the world is in need of the beautiful, the good and the holy and nothing is better suited to evoke that than a good marriage.

And now you stand before this loving community of family and friends, ready to acknowledge to God and to the world: this is my beloved, the one with whom I choose to create the rest of my life.

Foundation (Option 3)

Marriage is a supreme sharing, perhaps the greatest and most challenging adventure in the most intimate of human relationships. It is the joyful uniting of a man and a woman whose care and affection and understanding have flowered into a deep and abiding love. Those who take its sacred vows have their lives blended together into one, as the waters of two rivers are joined when they come together to form an even greater one.

A true spiritual marriage is an act of metamorphosis, a profound mystery of creation and rebirth, as two become one. It is not a giving up or loss of oneself, but rather a giving over of oneself to something greater‑a transformation of self in which each one can say, “I am no longer only I but also we.” It is a process in which each can be challenged to discover new possibilities in themselves and each other.

In such a marriage, the wedding ceremony is the gateway into this mystery. For the lives the two of you have lived up until this moment are, in some sense, now truly completed and over. Together you now live within the creation of something wholly new and transcendent, something which has never existed before‑your miraculous marriage‑an expression that is at once public and private, precious, sacred, and truly unique to the two of you. In this act, you open yourselves to a fuller experience and expression of the great, vast miracle of love.

No ceremony can create your marriage. Only you can do that‑through love, patience, dedication, perseverance‑through talking and listening and trying to understand‑through helping and supporting and believing in each other‑through learning to forgive, learning to respect and

appreciate your differences, and learning to make the important things matter and to let go of the rest. What this ceremony can do is to witness and affirm the choice you have made to begin a new life today as husband and wife.

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The processional begins the wedding ceremony.  This is where the guests will first lay their eyes on the beautiful bride.  The wedding party is presented first and then the bride herself.

Music, is selected by the couple to play while the wedding party walks down the aisle.   Then, the Bridal March or some other appropriate music as chosen by the couple starts and the bride is presented to the groom and the guests while she ascends the  aisle.   For me, it is always one of  the most dramatic and highly emotional parts of the ceremony.

Your wedding processional should be your own.  You can have anything from the very traditional to an alternative current trend which, at the time of this writing  is a dancing processional.  It’s important to note  that the processional alone can set the “tone” of your wedding and will help guests to see your wedding in that light.   What’s really important though, is to make it your own, make it special and make it memorable for both you and your guests.

Below is the traditional order of the wedding processional.

The guests are seated.

The groom, best man and Officiant enter by using a side door. They all stand facing the guests.

An usher escorts the grandmother(s) of the bride to their seats of honor.

An usher escorts the grandmother(s) of the groom to their seats of honor.

An usher escorts the mother and father of the groom to their seats of honor.

An usher escorts the mother of the bride to her seat of honor.  The brides father is also seated, if he is not walking her down the aisle.

Processional music begins.

The bride’s mother (and father) stand(s).

All the guests stand.

The ushers walk down the aisle (or escort the bridesmaids) and stand next the groom and best man and then face the guests.

The bridesmaids walk down the aisle.

The maid and/or matron of honor walk(s) down the aisle.

The ring bearer walks down the aisle.

The flower girl walks down the aisle or the flower girl and ring bearer walk down together.

Processional music changes and/or the volume increases.

The father of the bride escorts the bride down aisle.

The recessional is the processional in reverse, except that the ushers always escort the bridesmaids out. If the number of bridesmaids is uneven, ushers may escort more than one bridesmaid.

For a somewhat less than tradional processional, here are another few ideas.  Of course, they may alterered to fit your needs.

Traditionally, the bride walks down the aisle with her father.

Alternatively,

both parents may walk down the aisle with the bride. (This is customary in Jewish weddings.) or, the bride walks down the aisle escorted by her son. (Perfect for a second wedding)

Traditionally, the flower girl walks down the aisle, throwing petals as she goes.

Alternatively, the flower girl carries single stems of individual flowers and gives them to people as she goes down the aisle.

Traditionally, the groom and best man wait at the altar/canopy.

Alternatively, the groom, ushers and/or best man enter with the clergy person or officiant or

the groom can walk down the aisle with his parents.  For a second wedding, the groom can walk down the aisle escorted by his daughter.

Traditionally, the bridesmaids walk down the aisle single file.

Alternatively, the bridesmaids walk down the aisle two by two or each with an usher.

Traditionally, ring bearers, trainbearers and pages walk in pairs.

Alternatively, one ring bearer can carry two rings, or for a double ring ceremony, you could use two children.  Perhaps a male or female, or both together.

Other ideas: In divorced families, Involve grandparents, stepparents and/or godparents

Second Marriage Idea:  The bride and groom can enter as a couple, preceded by the wedding party, who enter as couples.

Or… something like this!

Whatever you decide, remember to make it your own whether that means traditional or something else.

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1. Candle Lighting Ceremony |Unity| Parts of a Wedding Ceremony
2. How to Say “I do” | Vows | Parts of a Wedding Ceremony
3. Wedding Ceremonies | Acknowledging & Honoring a Deceased Parent

Processional (optional)

Invocation (optional-for those who want to start with a brief prayer)

Beloved Creator, Essence of Love, and Source of Hope, Open our hearts and fill us with Your Presence.  You graciously give to us the longing for love and the capability of loving, and we give you thanks for (Brides Name) and (Grooms Name), for their beautiful hearts and willing spirits, and for the example of love that they embody here today. Elevate us to an awareness of the Sacred and the Eternal, as we celebrate this miraculous moment in their lives. Be with them on this joyous occasion of showing their love and making their vows; and be with us, their witnesses, that we might all be inspired by the blessings shared today. Amen

Welcoming (Option 1)

Good evening. It is truly a blessing from heaven for two people to find one another and to love so deeply that they embrace the holy bond of marriage.  That is why we are all here today, to witness and celebrate (Brides Name) and (Grooms Name)’s commitment to their union.  On behalf of them, I welcome you all.

Welcoming (Option 2)

Good afternoon. We gather here today to witness and celebrate an act of deep love. (Brides Name) and (Grooms Name), in their devotion, respect, and love for each other wish to unite in the holy bond of marriage, and to dedicate themselves to each other’s happiness and well‑being as life mates and partners.  On behalf of them, I welcome you all.

Welcoming (Possible Addition to Above)

Although this is their day, it is also a tribute to all of you. For knowing you and interacting with you has helped to make our Bride and Groom who they needed to be to find each other. They would like to thank you all for that. All of you are the threads of which are woven the tapestry of their lives. Each one of you is an important piece in the story it tells. It is the fabric that they wrap around themselves and take comfort in when the world seems cold. And on days like today when everything is right in their world, that tapestry is proudly spread out and displayed for everyone to see, with all the glorious colors and textures that your diversity adds. You all hold a place in their hearts reserved for those that they have chosen to call ‘Family’ and “Friends” and they are deeply grateful for each and every one of you here today

Related posts:

1. Parental Honoring Readings | Parts of a Wedding Ceremony
2. Parts of a Wedding Ceremony | The Foundation
3. How to Say “I do” | Vows | Parts of a Wedding Ceremony

Unfortunately, we can’t give you any firm rules here. Everything is dependent on the size of the wedding and the couple’s, their families, (and their guests) finances.  But here’s what seems to be generally accepted for a destination wedding.

Guests pay for their airfare and hotel rooms.

The couple or their parents (usually the groom’s parents) host the rehearsal dinner, or a friend pays for the meal, and another goodie such as a massage or gym pass or a sightseeing tour.

Hosts are also responsible for transportation to and from the ceremony and reception, and usually transportation from the Airport.

All other expenses, such as other transportation, other meals, or room-service are the guests responsibility.

For wedding attendants, often the couple will pick up their entire, or at least the hotel bill (minus extras), and beauty services for the women for the wedding.

Related posts:

1. Choosing the Venue for Your Destination Wedding

Once you’ve gathered all the information, your guests will need to know as much as you can tell them about your destination in order to facilitate their travel planning.  It is acceptable to include this information along with the save the date cards but it’s a better idea to send a separate mailing.  Your guests will be expecting this information if they are planning to attend and they will be excited to get all the details.  Be sure to give your guests enough time with the information so they can make all the necessary arrangements.

You should include the following vital data, if appropriate your wedding:

• Reservation Information: Name of venue and telephone numbers for reserving their accommodations.  General price variables for different accommodation types (ie hotel room vs. suite), and don’t forget to mention how your group is listed in the venue’s records.

• An overview of the destination including a map.  An example of what to include in the map is provided below.

• Information on the typical weather at the location of the event for the time of year your wedding will be held.

• An overview of the festivities, a preliminary schedule of events, general dress codes, and suggestions of things to bring, such as golf clubs, tennis rackets, beach attire.

•Travel agent information or recommendations on booking air travel.

• The name of the contact person at the hotel.

• Information on transportation to and from the venue from the airport for those you won’t personally be meeting.

• Any & all travel requirements such as vaccinations, passports and visas.

• Child care information for those with children if you are inviting families.

• Telephone numbers and the names of contacts for services that need to be booked in advance, such as spa treatments, scuba diving, skiing lessons, tours, and special excursions.

Some resorts and hotels provide preprinted room reservation cards to be mailed back by your invitees.  If yours does, include these with your mailing.

Example of informational mailing:

Debbie and Joe are getting married!!!

By now that we are getting married on Nov 15, 2009, in Jamaica.  We are tickled pink that you are planning to join us for our wedding and a weekend of festivities to celebrate.

Why Jamaica?

There were many trips to Jamaica as single souls, where we both fell head over heels in love with this magical island, never even knowing that the other existed. Then, we took one trip together that cemented our relationship and sealed our futures together.  It seemed like the only place for us to commit to each other surrounded by our dear friends and family.

Air Reservations:

Do to the popularity of trips to the islands at this time, we urge you to call early to make your airline reservations.  We have contracted with a ABC travel agency, at 1-800-555-1212, or www.abctravel.com, for a discounted rate for our guests on both Delta airlines and Air Jamaica.  If you wish to ask specific questions, please contact Mary at extension 23 and tell her you are with the Smith/Jones wedding.

Accommodations:

We have blocked rooms at a discounted rate at The Island Resort and Spa.  The rates vary from rooms in the lodge ($100.00 per night, the poolside cottages ($200.00 per night), to the fantasy suites ($500.00 per night).  The rest of your stay, including meals within the resort , is included in your room rate, or as our guests.

Please be certain to say you are a member of the Smith-Jones wedding party when booking.  The rooms are reserved for us and tell October 15, 2009, after which they will be released.  Please call early so as not to be disappointed, and disappoint us, of course.

Transportation:

A shuttle bus from island resort will meet every flight that has our guests arriving on it.  There will be representatives from the resort directly outside the customs area, with signage.  If you prefer to rent a car, (which we don’t recommend as driving is on the other side of the road, and the roads aren’t exactly state of the art), there is a rental agency at the Airport, and our travel agent will reserve one for you in advance.  Just ask her when you make your other reservations.

Activities:

There will be a beach barbecue on Friday evening, the main event on Saturday at 5:00 PM, followed by dinner and dancing under the stars, and a farewell brunch on Sunday at 10:00 AM (for those of you who can tear yourselves away from paradise).  We will be going into honeymoon seclusion after that, so be sure to get your fill of us beforehand as we well be definitely incommunicado after that!

Golfing, tennis, scuba, snorkeling, coladas, daiquiris, rum punch, naps, sun, naps, sun…  If you wish to book any spa services, such as a massage or hair styling, it is best to book these early as well.  Call the spa directly at 1-800-555-1213.

Weather

The average temperature is a perfect 85° F -Balmy, not humid.  A light sweater or jacket may be necessary at night.  The rest of the time, wear plenty of sun block and something to keep it in place.

Dress:

With the exception of our wedding ceremony and the celebration that follows on Saturday, which is island attire (you interpret), all other activities are strictly casual.  Penalties for over dressing will be administered.

Babysitting:

We are aware that many of you may be bringing your kids and making this a family vacation.  They are welcome to all events, with the exception of the ceremony and the party following.  We have contacted with a bonded childcare service that was recommended by our wedding consultant.  They can be reached at We B Kid Care, 1-800-555-1214.

Questions:

If there is anything we haven’t covered here please call or email either of us:

(List both of your names and telephone numbers)

Watch for more mailings and information as November approaches!  (you know we can’t help ourselves!)

We are really looking forward to seeing you in Jamaica, Mon.

Love,

Debbie and Joe

The Map:

An accurate an attractive map is a key part of any destination preview package, (it’s a good idea to send it along with your wedding information).

If the directions are simple and you have some artistic ability,  draw a map free hand, complete with a  few landmarks and street signs.  Alternatively, you can take a ready-made map and star favorite sites with comments such as ” the world’s best hot dogs!” or, ” here’s the resort”.

The Internet also offers resources for creating maps.  A search for custom invitation maps on the Internet turns up several companies that create customized maps with your wedding date and specified information.  Also, many web sites offer maps of just about any destination, complete with driving directions, that you can print out.  Some are zoomable, others include shopping, lodging, and other businesses near it your targeted destination.  Check out sites such as Mapquest for these maps.

Related posts:

1. Save the date wording for the Destination Wedding